You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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