i think my mom watched the whole time
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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