Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
God I need to hump something, right now.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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