fuck your aforementioned shoe
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
