I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize