You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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