I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
