1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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