waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
