so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
whose ass print is on the piano?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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