I CAN MOONWALK!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
