The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my being single is dangerous.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
