1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We have started to decorate penises.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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