I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Randomize
