i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
