I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
