I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
