where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm always down for nudity.
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