Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There r osticjed everywhere
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Randomize