I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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