He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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