think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You made out with two different species that night
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
