final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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