The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
