Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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