i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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