Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
