Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
