I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Randomize
