She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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