Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
