I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
