this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
