I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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