I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
