Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
