The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
