What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize