Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize