I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
