Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
