i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
