Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize