Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My vagina is very pro this idea
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
