There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
