Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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