There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize