No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
