Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
