I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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