Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
