haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
