On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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