I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's blow job season.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
