New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
