bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
