I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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