Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
