That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize