I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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