so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
