woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
