I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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